Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
