I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My dick has a subreddit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
