the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
