I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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