she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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