question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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