Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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