ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
