i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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