My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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