check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All I want is dick and wine.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
