he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
