Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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