I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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