the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize