White coat. Heels.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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