I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
