There is no way he is gay with that hair.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
