Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
