PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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