Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
