i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
