Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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