FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
