are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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