Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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