you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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