just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize