So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
