it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
