So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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