just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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