i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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