sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
