You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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