he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize