p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
