were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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