Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
