if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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