Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
