We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
