he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
