i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
