Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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