does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
