is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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