i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
