Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
