Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize