Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
