I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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