tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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