yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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