i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
