guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
