I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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