If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's the barista slut.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Randomize
