ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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