just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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