wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
