it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
