if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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