Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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