I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
