To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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