I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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