if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
