what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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