we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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